LAST KNOWN GOOD CONFIGURATION - A Possible Return?

I behave with computers
a bit like I stock my fridge
and store-cupboard -
"I'll just download that program,
I could need it....."
(for the food analogy, substitute: "buy that food-item"...)
Result?
A computer overflowing with "possibly-useful" programs,
not unlike the cupboards and fridge
full of "come-in-handy" food,
much of which doesn't get noticed, often never used.

Sooner or later,
after I've been piling up the computer items,
there is an "unexpected" worm or virus or glitch
or an "incompatability,"
and I try a "system restore"
- this is, I suppose, the digital version of
"clearing out the muddle."
Amazingly often(!)
the computer refuses to obey me,
and once in a while I find myself having to re-install -
that long, tedious process,
which always begs the question,
yet unanswered,
"Why did you have to download
all that unnecessary stuff
in the first place?"
(In food terms, this is the body-fast,
put off far too long - "I'll start tomorrow!")

Before I "give up" and reinstall, however,
I often press that line
on the black-and-white boot-screen,
which reads "Last Known Good Configuration."

Have you ever tried this?
Does it do what it says?

It's never, ever
worked for me yet, when I've entered it
- I presume it does work for some people.

But the concept fascinates me.
Think about it for a minute.
Savour the words -
LAST KNOWN GOOD CONFIGURATION.

When clients come to me
seeking transformation
whether physical, emotional or soulful,
there is often the unspoken hope that
the process will "bring them back
to a space where things are working again."

Notice the word
AGAIN.
What level of "things working"
do we really seek
at that deeper level?

The more I have experienced life
the more I have come to understand how much
this life-experience is changing my perception
of what a "well-functioning life"
really is .

For me,
for the world,
for my attitude towards
everything that "happens."

Those who write about healing
often emphasise the question
"How do you feel in your body?
- If you feel really happy,
completely free and easy,
and absolutely without pain,
then you are healthy at every level.
Otherwise, not."

As my perception is re-moulded
I discover that I have been
"lying to myself" and others,
accepting feelings in myself as
"good", "fine", "OK-by-me",
when really they aren't/weren't.

And once I take that inner voice seriously,
daring to step out of limitations,
daring to reach for the unknown,
there are unsought consequences.

In the old paradigm
the limitations kept me safe
as well as "chained"
(like the body's immune system.)

Before I can possibly reach a space
of new clarity and peace,
there is a valley of death
to be transversed,
much deeper and longer than
I ever imagined.
(Would I have started on the journey
if I'd known?)

And sometimes, forgetting
that the journey towards
(rather than the arrival at)
the new paradigm, is actually
the Point of Life
Now,
I despair -
"I can't bear it any longer" -.
I just LONG for the
Last Known Good Configuration,

- whenever that was.

If I could find one,
would it still be true?

In terms of the food analogy,
I could start again from scratch,
emptying everything and then
just gently adding to the food-store
in self-discipline -

NOT!

(Our ways of doing things
are deeply programmed -
instead of fighting them,
we can use them
to our advantage!)

My medicine
(as the shaman demands I tell it)
is to use what I have
now
in a joy and gratitude that
takes the place of yearning
(oh, I have much to learn, here)
as though the pills of
forgetfulness and awareness
are combined.

My medicine is
to learn to love and accept
where I am
in order to be able to go
to "where I desire to be."

To turn this
valley of death
into a garden of
nourishment and colour.

Who knows ...?
"Where I desire to be,"
the possible
NEXT KNOWN BEST CONFIGURATION,
is actually
Here
and
Now?!